Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you have/had a great Halloween! Of course,most everyone goes out to party leading up to Halloween and on Halloween night. I hope everyone was able to stay safe. :)

I'm not a huge Halloween fan myself, but I still participate a little bit. I made some sugar cookies a couple days ago, when I was taking the one tray out of the oven I thouched my arm on the oven door and burnt myself pretty badly. It's all blistered up and quite red and sore, I'm keeping Alo Vera capsels on it to prevent the burn from scarring and to help it heal.

The white bumps are the blisters. The skin is actually starting to peal. It's a terrible web cam pic, it looks worse in person.

Even though the burn isn't so cute the cookies look good and taste delicious! :)

I'm not doing much this Halloween night. My best friend Monika is coming over to hangout, we're having homemade pizza and wings for dinner and handing out candy to the little goblins who show up. :) Sounds like the perfect Halloween to me!

xoxo

Giving This Life Everything I've Got & Then Some.

I've made a final decision about what I want to do with my life. I'm going to complete the law program at UofA and be a lawyer specializing in Family Law and maybe Child Advocacy. I don't want to be the "typical lawyer" who only does the job for the money. I want to be the one that really does care and wants to help people. That one person who takes the time to hear the full story and try to help in every way. I know it will be a long, hard, stressful journey. I know it's going to be time consuming and emotional but this is what I want. I feel like I was born to do this and if I were to take a different path in life it wouldn't feel right and I wouldn't be happy. I love helping people, I want to be the one to make a positive change in many peoples lives, especially children. Kids are almost always the victims in family law and it's not right. I'm passionate about this decision and dedicating myself to it. I'm going to give it everything I've got and do my part.

Lately I've been asking myself what I want out of life and I think I've finally figured it out. I want to finish school and become a lawyer/advocate, I want to be with that one person who completes me and becomes my world, I want children with that person. And most of all, I just want to be happy. Life is too short to be spent on negativity, that negativity only stops us from becoming who we are supposed to be. The people who prevent me from living out my dreams will be removed from my life.

Live life the way you want to. Have fun, make mistakes, don't worry about the people in your past because they didn't make it to the present for a reason, and they won't matter in the future. <3

I'm ready to begin this adventure and see where it all takes me <3 :)

The Gloves Are Off.

The entire argument I discussed in my last post (link:http://crazybeautifulyouth.blogspot.com/2011/10/words-dont-fix-everything.html) has been blown completely out of proportion and is spiralling out of control. I don't want to openly say this girls name, however my other friends and family who read my blog know her name.. so I'm just going to call her "A".

Since myself and A have a dance class together, I didn't want to run into her face to face as I knew it would only cause a heated argument/confrontation infront of everyone. Which certainly did not need to happen. So, I avoided her for the class.. I didn't say a word to her and didn't look at her. Since we haven't been speaking and it was a heated fight I figured this was best. Apparently I was wrong, according to A I'm now bullying her. She states I was glaring at her and laughing at her in the class, she developed this idea because I was talking with another friend, Caitlin. Myself & Caitlin were discussing "Silent Hill" during the class and laughed a couple of times. I guess I'm not allowed to have friends and can't have fun.

A is now threatening to have me kicked out of dance because I was "bullying" her. She also said in a text message to a mutual friend of ours that Caitlin was bullying her. None of this is true, the situation was clearly read the wrong way, or she is just trying to start even more drama.. the drama I was hoping and trying to avoid. This morning A's mother texted my mother saying that I was bringing other people into the argument and that I've made false accusations against A. I never made any accusations towards A. She was the one running me down calling me names via text. Now A's mother wants to sit down with Me, Monika, and both our Mothers. However, this is not required. It is not our Mother's fight, it is ours. We're old enough to either work things out, move on from what's happened or simply ignore eachother and not be friends. Yesterday A's mother was made aware of the things her daughter has said and she completely denied that A would every say those things.

The whole situation is completely out of control, thanks to A. I guess some people just need high-school drama in their life?? I'm not one of those people, and I never will be. I hate drama and try to avoid it as much as humanly possible. In fact, I've never had drama in my life up until these past few months when A decided she would like to fight.

I'm going to continue to not speak with A and ignore her when I see her at dance. I have nothing to say to her, and I don't feel I should be apologizing when I didn't do anything. I wish her the best and hope her life pans out the way she wants it to. I just feel it's best if we are not apart of eachother's lives. I have a feeling it's going to be a long road before this ends completely, I just hope A realizes she needs to leave things alone.

Words Don't Fix Everything.

Have you ever been hurt by someone emotionally, physically, verbally etc? Each type of hurt is powerful and affects everyone in different ways. Physically may leave scars and bruises, emotionally can lead to eating disorders, depression, suicide and many other dangerous affects. Verbal abuse often leads to emotional hurt.

Everyone has abused another person in some way, even if they may not realize it. Have you ever called someone "stupid", "fat", "ugly" etc ? We do it without noticing how it hurts/affects the victim (the person you are calling "stupid", "fat", "ugly"). We don't know the persons history in most cases, maybe that girl you called "fat" is starving herself to attempt weight loss, maybe that guy you just called "stupid" was abused by his parents. Individuals often say and do hurtful things without realizing they are even doing it or that the person they're abusing will actually suffer from their actions. Calling people names can become a habit, but next time you call someone fat - remember you don't know if they have health issues, if he/she used to be anorexic etc. It takes all kinds of people to make up this world and without each and every single person our world would be incredibly different. Everyone has a story, it's up to you if you take the time to hear the stories or not.

I can personally say I have been affected by verbal/emotional abuse quite recently, by the person I would least expect to ever hurt me in any way,The girl I called my best friend for 12 years. This story takes a long time to explain and it's quite lengthly, but I'll do my best to describe in short form. I'm the type of person who does anything and everything for a person I care about. I defend my friends, love them and help them out when they really need someone or get themselves into a bad situation. Without my care this girl would have ended up dead or in a prison like home. I wrote petitions, went to court, and defended her rights as a Canadian Citizen. I didn't sleep and didn't eat because I was worried for her safety for 6 months, knowing the conditions she was living in. Not once did I complain and I have never regretted helping her.

This past week she has been acting very selfish and like she is better than everyone else. That type of attitude goes against everything I believe in. She figures since her parents bought her a brand new car, she's better then everyone else. She won't work at certain places because she's "better" then the people who work there. There has just been so many things that she's addressed with the wrong attitude.

I had to be brutally honest, she was my best friend. I couldn't sit back and watch her act so immature and selfish. The issue needed to be addressed and I was the only one willing to do it. Why? Because I DO care about her and want to see her go far in life. I was upfront and honest with her, but I was nice about it. I told her that I didn't think her attitude was appropriate and even though she may not realize it, she was coming off as selfish to other people.

The thanks I got for everything I did to help her... she called me immature, selfish, insecure, a bitch, ignorant and rude. She also said that I don't treat my friends well and that I need to get a grip of myself. Then she proceeded to tell me that I won't keep my job long and won't go far in life because I have a bad attitude.I am in shock and completely speechless at this point. I never thought she would be the one to verbally run-me down and try to lower my self esteem by saying these types of hurtful lies. I'm an emotional mess, why do I deserve to be treated like this? What did I do wrong?  Of course I can't help but think 'Why did I help you out so much, just to be re-paid like this?'. Do I regret helping her? No, Not at all. I just can't understand, and never will be able to understand how she can act like this when I was the only person who didn't give up on her when things got tough. Last time this happened she decided to apologize to me a week or two later. This time, I won't be accepting it. Words don't fix everything.

This all happened within the last week, and unfortunately I ended up telling her not to contact me. She needs to go her way and I will go mine. I don't think our friendship will ever return, I've put up with this more then once from her - but was too nice and put it off as being stress. I don't need people with that type of attitude and immaturity in my life. I'm thankful I have other friends and family to stand by me and appreciate who I am.

If you have people in your life who don't treat you like you deserve to be treated, you should walk away. It's tough but it's necessary. Finding positive people to have in your life will make you a happier, healthier person. I'm sure we've all had to deal with this issue before, it's not easy and it's not fun. But life changes occur on a daily basis. We just have to decide what the right decisions are for us.